Once your loved one is safe from a traumatizing or potentially abusive situation, the waters ahead may seem smooth. However, there may be more storms for your loved one to bear shortly. Healing from past traumas has its own set of challenges. One challenge, for example, is that your loved one may not even realize how their past experiences are affecting them, and are unable to articulate these effects to you.
Tag: trauma
When Art is Your Love Language
When I'm so happy and satisfied and moved and full of love about something or someone, I make art about it. I write poetry or love letters. I paint. I create little cartoon portraits on internet apps. As children and still as adults, long afternoons and evenings were spent with my brother and sister, reaching … Continue reading When Art is Your Love Language
Stop Hustling: Pacing Yourself is Part of the Plan
What makes us launch into the next huge step instead of taking the time to make a plan that makes sense?
Staying Estranged in a Global Pandemic
When Coronavirus made it to the United States, I worried about my dad. He’s a lifelong smoker over 60. But I haven’t checked on him, because my sister and I haven’t spoken to him in over a year. That time has been uneventful, besides us each getting a message from him on Thanksgiving. I thought … Continue reading Staying Estranged in a Global Pandemic
Practicing Boundaries After Trauma
Boundaries take practice, especially when you have a history of trauma. Being a survivor of abuse can make the inner alarm bells malfunction -- they either don't go off at all because mistreatment has been normalized, or they go off at the slightest whiff of something that reminds you of a past traumatic experience. This … Continue reading Practicing Boundaries After Trauma
Why you need to go to therapy, and why you probably can’t
In theory, every single person would benefit from regular therapy. Just like you get an annual physical to check your blood work for issues you can't see, like cholesterol, blood sugar, inflammation, and more, a regular check-in with a therapist can help you maintain healthy levels of psychological self care. When I meet with my … Continue reading Why you need to go to therapy, and why you probably can’t
There’s no timeline on healing or love
When I turned 25, I made a five year plan. Become debt free and a mother by 30, in April 2018. I am now 31 and neither of those things happened. In fact, as 30 approached, I was facing a lot of other huge life circumstances. In August 2016 I got married and immediately started … Continue reading There’s no timeline on healing or love
How to ask for the love you need
I recently did something that I thought would be silly, or selfish, or outlandish. I wrote a manual on how to love me. It gives the basics about me and my background, includes a list of my favorite things, discusses how to best communicate with me, describes how I interact within each of the … Continue reading How to ask for the love you need
A Surprising Number of Things Elton John and I Have in Common
When I saw the trailer for Rocketman, I instantly knew I’d see the movie when it hit theaters. In the mid nineties, my mother and I would trek from our small village of Seville, Ohio into the “big city” of Medina to do grocery shopping. Our soundtrack, more often than not, was Elton John’s Greatest … Continue reading A Surprising Number of Things Elton John and I Have in Common
Can emotional abuse be sexual abuse?
I got divorced last May, and in the midst of Justin Timberlake memes and shorts weather and anticipating my upcoming book launch, the anniversary of my divorce date looms near. And I am still mad at my abuser, which is frustrating because I thought I would have overcome all my trauma in a neat, tidy … Continue reading Can emotional abuse be sexual abuse?
