Once your loved one is safe from a traumatizing or potentially abusive situation, the waters ahead may seem smooth. However, there may be more storms for your loved one to bear shortly. Healing from past traumas has its own set of challenges. One challenge, for example, is that your loved one may not even realize how their past experiences are affecting them, and are unable to articulate these effects to you.
Boundaries take practice, especially when you have a history of trauma. Being a survivor of abuse can make the inner alarm bells malfunction -- they either don't go off at all because mistreatment has been normalized, or they go off at the slightest whiff of something that reminds you of a past traumatic experience. This … Continue reading Practicing Boundaries After Trauma
We're at a point in society in 2018 where I feel confident people can acknowledge that abuse isn't just physical. Mental and emotional abuse (through control, negligence, gaslighting, and other manipulations and mind games), sexual abuse, and financial abuse may not leave visible bruises but leave a lasting impression on their victims and survivors. Survivors … Continue reading The realities of financial abuse
If you're familiar with Marie Kondo's The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up, you know that her method of simplifying requires you to get all of one type of item together (clothing, books, toiletries, papers, whatever), touch each and every one, and decide if it gives you joy before deciding whether or not to keep … Continue reading The life changing magic of trauma
Hello. I am not sure if you care to hear from me, or indeed if you even know who I am. I'm the woman your husband left you for. And I am deeply sorry, on so many levels. When I met him, he was in an open relationship with permission to play and "get his … Continue reading An open letter to my abuser’s ex wife
Trigger Warning: Emotional abuse. Cancer. Loss. May is tough for me. It's tough at work, because I have spent the last several years in marketing for a crib mattress company and a greenhouse. It's tough on social media, because all the ads and posts are about how to honor the woman who gave you everything. … Continue reading Breaking the silence of parental emotional abuse