I realized last night that I haven't had to defend myself from inappropriate blame for over two and a half years. Coming off a four day vacation during which I actually rested and had fun, it occurred to me that I am really and truly not the person I used to be. Vacation time used … Continue reading 4 Annoying Truths about Breakups
As a creative coach, I of course focus on my clients' creative passions, but we coach on all kinds of topics including relationships, boundaries, and breakups. The simple answer to this question is anything but simple: It's different for every person and every breakup. You might need more time than a person who went through … Continue reading How Fast Should You Move On from a Breakup?
Estrangement is a final boundary that many adult children choose to enforce with their parents after a lifetime of not being heard, valued, or respected. It's not a decision that people make lightly or easily — indeed, there are countless barriers to estrangement that come from a societal belief that family is an immutable, infallible bond that can't be broken or ignored. There is no morality in estrangement. Those who can cut off their parents aren't better people with better boundaries. Those who continue a relationship with parents who abused them aren't broken or codependent or foolish for wanting to keep their parents in their life.
When I'm so happy and satisfied and moved and full of love about something or someone, I make art about it. I write poetry or love letters. I paint. I create little cartoon portraits on internet apps. As children and still as adults, long afternoons and evenings were spent with my brother and sister, reaching … Continue reading When Art is Your Love Language
Boundaries can feel scary when you've never had them before. In the past, maybe standing up for yourself felt dangerous.