I have a hard time with boundaries, rejection, and balancing my desire to be liked with my desire to be myself. When I notice that I'm censoring, editing, and polishing a post to perfection — a post for my friends to read, no less — it's a surefire sign that I'm putting too much energy into being … Continue reading What Do We Owe Our Facebook Friends?
This is a love letter to the saviors, the fixers, the let-me-handle-that-ers, the chronic "yes" people... the people pleasers. I bet you're exhausted. I know I was. The other day, a client of mine (also my bestie, so we talk about a lot of things besides work) sent me a screenshot of their calendar showing … Continue reading For the People Pleasers who Compulsively Fix People’s Problems
Being labeled as gifted and talented often leads educators and parents to expect that these children will be good at anything and everything. But giftedness and talent doesn't work like that, and just because these students can do something doesn't mean they should have to master it.
Estrangement is a final boundary that many adult children choose to enforce with their parents after a lifetime of not being heard, valued, or respected. It's not a decision that people make lightly or easily — indeed, there are countless barriers to estrangement that come from a societal belief that family is an immutable, infallible bond that can't be broken or ignored. There is no morality in estrangement. Those who can cut off their parents aren't better people with better boundaries. Those who continue a relationship with parents who abused them aren't broken or codependent or foolish for wanting to keep their parents in their life.