I have a hard time with boundaries, rejection, and balancing my desire to be liked with my desire to be myself. When I notice that I'm censoring, editing, and polishing a post to perfection — a post for my friends to read, no less — it's a surefire sign that I'm putting too much energy into being … Continue reading What Do We Owe Our Facebook Friends?
This is a love letter to the saviors, the fixers, the let-me-handle-that-ers, the chronic "yes" people... the people pleasers. I bet you're exhausted. I know I was. The other day, a client of mine (also my bestie, so we talk about a lot of things besides work) sent me a screenshot of their calendar showing … Continue reading For the People Pleasers who Compulsively Fix People’s Problems
We all have an inner child, the part of us that is still connected to our childhood, upbringing, and the things we learned in our most formative years. Unfortunately, when we were wounded in childhood, those pains and patterns often come with us and repeat throughout our adult life, affecting relationships, work, and even our … Continue reading Healing Your Inner Child: The Basics
As a creative coach, I of course focus on my clients' creative passions, but we coach on all kinds of topics including relationships, boundaries, and breakups. The simple answer to this question is anything but simple: It's different for every person and every breakup. You might need more time than a person who went through … Continue reading How Fast Should You Move On from a Breakup?
As we go through our lives after a traumatic event, we may feel like we're over it on the surface, but our body remembers the stress and may repeat it. This can be triggered by the time of year, specific smells, triggering circumstances that remind you of the trauma, and more. This post is about … Continue reading 5 Things To Do For Your Traumaversary
Love is one of the most important things in life. It can also be one of the most difficult things to feel safe asking for, because it requires so much vulnerability and risks rejection. Throughout my life, I've had to really figure out how to ask for love and hold my standards and boundaries, rather … Continue reading How to Ask for Love (and Receive It)
Being labeled as gifted and talented often leads educators and parents to expect that these children will be good at anything and everything. But giftedness and talent doesn't work like that, and just because these students can do something doesn't mean they should have to master it.
Estrangement is a final boundary that many adult children choose to enforce with their parents after a lifetime of not being heard, valued, or respected. It's not a decision that people make lightly or easily — indeed, there are countless barriers to estrangement that come from a societal belief that family is an immutable, infallible bond that can't be broken or ignored. There is no morality in estrangement. Those who can cut off their parents aren't better people with better boundaries. Those who continue a relationship with parents who abused them aren't broken or codependent or foolish for wanting to keep their parents in their life.
When I'm so happy and satisfied and moved and full of love about something or someone, I make art about it. I write poetry or love letters. I paint. I create little cartoon portraits on internet apps. As children and still as adults, long afternoons and evenings were spent with my brother and sister, reaching … Continue reading When Art is Your Love Language
Boundaries can feel scary when you've never had them before. In the past, maybe standing up for yourself felt dangerous.