Being labeled as gifted and talented often leads educators and parents to expect that these children will be good at anything and everything. But giftedness and talent doesn't work like that, and just because these students can do something doesn't mean they should have to master it.
Estrangement is a final boundary that many adult children choose to enforce with their parents after a lifetime of not being heard, valued, or respected. It's not a decision that people make lightly or easily — indeed, there are countless barriers to estrangement that come from a societal belief that family is an immutable, infallible bond that can't be broken or ignored. There is no morality in estrangement. Those who can cut off their parents aren't better people with better boundaries. Those who continue a relationship with parents who abused them aren't broken or codependent or foolish for wanting to keep their parents in their life.
When I'm so happy and satisfied and moved and full of love about something or someone, I make art about it. I write poetry or love letters. I paint. I create little cartoon portraits on internet apps. As children and still as adults, long afternoons and evenings were spent with my brother and sister, reaching … Continue reading When Art is Your Love Language
Boundaries can feel scary when you've never had them before. In the past, maybe standing up for yourself felt dangerous.
Whether you are attending a Galentine’s Day brunch, treating yourself to a night of self-care or spending the holiday with a special someone, Valentine’s Day is the perfect occasion for celebrating love. However, as many know, you don’t need romance to commemorate relationships and the love you have for someone. This February 14th, examine how … Continue reading The 8 Different Types of Love
Boundaries take practice, especially when you have a history of trauma. Being a survivor of abuse can make the inner alarm bells malfunction -- they either don't go off at all because mistreatment has been normalized, or they go off at the slightest whiff of something that reminds you of a past traumatic experience. This … Continue reading Practicing Boundaries After Trauma
Do you suspect that there's something amiss in your relationship? Whether it's with a romantic partner or a friend or a family member, it doesn't matter. But something feels wrong and you think maybe if you had better boundaries or could stand up for yourself this wouldn't be happening. You might be wondering if you … Continue reading An Open Letter to the Person Who Isn’t Ready to Leave
A couple weeks ago I attended a queer geek convention in Cleveland in its second year - Flaming River Con. On a complete whim, I messaged the admins of the con on Facebook with a week to go before the event and offered to host a workshop on figuring out how to communicate your boundaries … Continue reading Find your shortcuts to healthier boundaries and love
When you're deeply committed to someone, the end of that relationship can be devastating. Whether it's a romantic relationship, friendship, or even removing a family member from your life -- breaking up is hard. But it doesn't mean you've failed at anything. I reject the notion that a relationship that doesn't last a lifetime is … Continue reading A breakup doesn’t mean you failed
When I turned 25, I made a five year plan. Become debt free and a mother by 30, in April 2018. I am now 31 and neither of those things happened. In fact, as 30 approached, I was facing a lot of other huge life circumstances. In August 2016 I got married and immediately started … Continue reading There’s no timeline on healing or love