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The magic of surrender, and unclenching your ass

I am really, really good with money. I have paid off lots of debt, negotiated amazing raises and job offers, and succeeded as a freelancer and self-employed coach for the past two years. I am a wizard at budgeting and have helped friends go from zero to five figures in their savings accounts. And this … Continue reading The magic of surrender, and unclenching your ass

Conflict is Trust: Positive Conflict Resolution

Ever since I was a kid, I have been conflict-avoidant. Conflict didn't feel safe, because my emotions were unwelcome and my boundaries were nonexistent. I never saw my parents modeling conflict in a healthy way, and I learned to keep my mood neutral to positive and to avoid adults when they were angry. This is … Continue reading Conflict is Trust: Positive Conflict Resolution

Caitlin is doubled over, laughing and smiling at the camera. Their fat rolls are visible under their black tank top and red plaid pants.

Things my thin mother couldn’t teach me about my fat body

I can't remember when I became fat. I know from photographs that I was an average sized baby, toddler, and child. Somewhere between my parents' divorce, when I was around seven, and puberty, I became fat. Being fat, in my experience, was a bad thing. My mom hated buying me new clothes and was visibly … Continue reading Things my thin mother couldn’t teach me about my fat body

A close up image of a geode slice, with teal and dark blue colors.

When It Doesn’t Happen As Planned

I recently completed an art project I've been contemplating for months and working on for weeks. It started when we bought this house a year ago. I wanted a rad background for my Zoom calls, so we painted the office purple and installed a shelf, and my friend offered me a giant framed canvas they … Continue reading When It Doesn’t Happen As Planned

What Do We Owe Our Facebook Friends?

I have a hard time with boundaries, rejection, and balancing my desire to be liked with my desire to be myself. When I notice that I'm censoring, editing, and polishing a post to perfection — a post for my friends to read, no less — it's a surefire sign that I'm putting too much energy into being … Continue reading What Do We Owe Our Facebook Friends?

A watercolor painting in red, of a woman's face. Her head is thrown back in pain and/or rage, her mouth is open in a cry, and her eyes are squinted shut. The watercolor paint drips like tears from her eyes and spatters in lines up the paper.

Nothing is Normal

We keep going to work and buying groceries and living life while everything around us is wrong. It is so expensive to barely survive right now — prices and profits are soaring while wages stagnate. CEOs get stock options while workers' hours get cut. The government is full of people elected by rigged systems, gerrymandered, the … Continue reading Nothing is Normal

A brick wall with a yellow neon sign that reads "treat yourself." There is a speckled green plant (dieffenbachia) in the bottom of the photo. Photo by Etienne Girardet on Unsplash.

The Burnout Conundrum of Ethical Shopping

This story is about hair, but it's also about capitalism, and it's also also about burnout. I'm growing my hair out from a mostly-shaved head to pixie cut length, and eventually to some type of queer-coded asymmetrical bob with an undercut. But the growing out stage is awful. If you know, you know. My partner … Continue reading The Burnout Conundrum of Ethical Shopping

Does Prioritizing Yourself Mean De-Prioritizing Others?

Short answer: Yes, but that's not necessarily a bad thing. Think about airplane safety, and how they tell you to put on your own oxygen mask before helping others with theirs. Even your kids! You need to put on your mask before you help your kids put on their masks. Does this mean you are … Continue reading Does Prioritizing Yourself Mean De-Prioritizing Others?