I am really, really good with money. I have paid off lots of debt, negotiated amazing raises and job offers, and succeeded as a freelancer and self-employed coach for the past two years. I am a wizard at budgeting and have helped friends go from zero to five figures in their savings accounts. And this … Continue reading The magic of surrender, and unclenching your ass
Ever since I was a kid, I have been conflict-avoidant. Conflict didn't feel safe, because my emotions were unwelcome and my boundaries were nonexistent. I never saw my parents modeling conflict in a healthy way, and I learned to keep my mood neutral to positive and to avoid adults when they were angry. This is … Continue reading Conflict is Trust: Positive Conflict Resolution
On a very base level, I'm craving fried pickles. But deeper than that, I crave silence. You know that feeling when you pull the car into the garage and turn it off, but before you go inside? The silence of being alone for just a moment surrounds you like a thick presence in the air. … Continue reading Cravings
If you're a creative person, it's important to embrace your creative identity. This can be difficult in our society where creativity is often seen as a hobby, self-indulgence, or non-productive trait. But the truth is that being creative is an essential part of who we are and what we do. It makes us human. What … Continue reading Developing your creative identity
I can't remember when I became fat. I know from photographs that I was an average sized baby, toddler, and child. Somewhere between my parents' divorce, when I was around seven, and puberty, I became fat. Being fat, in my experience, was a bad thing. My mom hated buying me new clothes and was visibly … Continue reading Things my thin mother couldn’t teach me about my fat body
I recently completed an art project I've been contemplating for months and working on for weeks. It started when we bought this house a year ago. I wanted a rad background for my Zoom calls, so we painted the office purple and installed a shelf, and my friend offered me a giant framed canvas they … Continue reading When It Doesn’t Happen As Planned
I have a hard time with boundaries, rejection, and balancing my desire to be liked with my desire to be myself. When I notice that I'm censoring, editing, and polishing a post to perfection — a post for my friends to read, no less — it's a surefire sign that I'm putting too much energy into being … Continue reading What Do We Owe Our Facebook Friends?
We keep going to work and buying groceries and living life while everything around us is wrong. It is so expensive to barely survive right now — prices and profits are soaring while wages stagnate. CEOs get stock options while workers' hours get cut. The government is full of people elected by rigged systems, gerrymandered, the … Continue reading Nothing is Normal
This story is about hair, but it's also about capitalism, and it's also also about burnout. I'm growing my hair out from a mostly-shaved head to pixie cut length, and eventually to some type of queer-coded asymmetrical bob with an undercut. But the growing out stage is awful. If you know, you know. My partner … Continue reading The Burnout Conundrum of Ethical Shopping
Short answer: Yes, but that's not necessarily a bad thing. Think about airplane safety, and how they tell you to put on your own oxygen mask before helping others with theirs. Even your kids! You need to put on your mask before you help your kids put on their masks. Does this mean you are … Continue reading Does Prioritizing Yourself Mean De-Prioritizing Others?