Do You Have to Have Your Shit Together to Hire a Coach?

I used to think coaching was for a certain type of person. People with their shit together, really. I thought that hiring a coach was a pretty having-your-shit-together choice to make. Those were people who knew what they wanted, made a decision to hire someone to get them there, and never doubted that choice at all, ever.

First of all, you don’t have to have your shit together.

New experiences are flying at us all day every day, and we have brand new thoughts about ourselves, other people, circumstances, and everything else, all day long.

Maybe humans had their shit together when all we did was hunt and gather, but life is complex in 2022, and we have complex needs, desires, and ideas — and we will freak out about them when they don’t go as planned.

Just when you are calm and collected with a plan to move forward, something could pop up and make you change your mind, out of necessity, desire, or boredom.

Next, you don’t have to know what you’re doing.

The very first time I hired a coach, I joined a group coaching program hosted by Jen Sincero, of You Are A Badass fame. My mom paid for it as a birthday gift, it was a few hundred bucks. I joined to be better at my MLM, a goal that is no longer anywhere on my radar and I would rather bury in one thousand pounds of dirt and rocks than think about again.

The second time I hired a coach, I hired a 1:1 coach to help me boost my confidence in marketing my book, writing more consistently, and establishing myself as, essentially, the millennial Brené Brown. In this coaching relationship I learned one of the most important things I have ever learned: To do one thing at a time. I had to learn to stop thinking each new idea was better than my current project in an endless loop of self sabotage. The result: I committed to developing a workshop that became an online course that’s now in its third year and getting better each time.

Hiring a coach can bring you from having a kinda-sorta goal to designing your own accountability plan to really achieve it — with a built in redirection to keep you focused.

Lastly, you might freak out about hiring a coach.

I stopped working with my 1:1 coach in May 2020, and I found myself journaling about the experience today, in 2022, still wondering if my investment with her was wise. This is a normal human brain thing to do. We live in a society that makes us believe our spending must always be productive and that indulging our own dreams is somehow shameful.

I had a ton of shame and self-doubt over spending “that kind of money” on coaching. I could have paid off my car! But then I’d have a paid off car and probably still be in a job I hate, never making my awesome workshop, never realizing that I could make an impact on the world. Working with a coach was more of an influence in my life’s work than grad school, and I’m still paying off grad school.

Back to the initial question: What type of person hires a coach?

This is a trick question, because there is no one type of coach and no one type of client. You could hire a coach to help you write a book, to help you make a million dollars, to help you run for office, to help you beat your boyfriend at Super Smash Bros.

For as many unique experiences you can have in a lifetime, there is a coach for that.

You could work with a grief coach, a dating coach, a self concept coach, a burnout coach.

The key is finding a coach that aligns not only with your goals but with your values. If you need to work on pacing yourself and avoiding burnout, you are not going to work well with a coach who wants you to hustle. If you’re looking to run for office, a coach who focuses on somatic healing isn’t going to be your best fit.

When I’m working with a coach, it’s a built in steam valve for me to funnel all those new thoughts and reactions into a place where it’s safe to explore my impulses, to work through the situation with someone I trust and who believes in me. A coach should have enough belief in you to shine a light in the darkest places when you don’t believe in yourself.

Your coach should make you feel safe, not judged. They are someone you hire to be on your team when it comes to reaching your goals.

The type of person who is ready for coaching

Even though there’s no one type of person who hires a coach, there are key ways you know you’re ready for coaching.

  1. You are willing to be a beginner and let go of your self-sabotaging perfectionism
  2. You are willing to be told the truth even if it makes you uncomfortable
  3. You are willing to believe in yourself 10% more than you do right now
  4. You are willing to shift your focus, effort, and thoughts to align with your best self
  5. You are willing to make a plan for your future and work toward it

Fear stops you from doing the thing you love. What will people think? What if I quit my job to start a business and it flops? What if my book never gets published? What if, what if, what if?

Oh, but my darling, what if you fly?

What if it’s more amazing than you ever could have imagined?

Curious if you’re the type of person who hires a coach? Let’s talk about it. You, me, 30 minutes, for free. We’ll talk about your goals and obstacles, I’ll offer my advice and the best way for you to work with me to achieve those goals. If we vibe, rad. If not, you still got some free advice and I hope it helps! Book your call here.

Not ready for that conversation? Get on my email list for weekly pep talks and you’ll receive a free eBook to help you set the stage for future-you to have the most badass life you can imagine.

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