moon to moon: 2021 in review

Tonight is the last full moon of 2021, one of my favorite events of the year because I get really deep into my journaling and reflecting and healing, I lay it all out in a notebook — what I am leaving behind in the year before, what I am creating for myself in the coming year, what I am grateful for.

The full moon is a time to appreciate and release.

Here’s what I wrote last year.

Bringing into 2021:

Butterfly wings — I have become the next version of myself and I am ready to fly.

Love for myself so clear that others reflect it back to me in the relationships I deserve.

A dog.

Financial abundance from fulfilling work that energizes and excites me each day.

An altar and reliable, consistent practice to access the magic inside me.

This new year…

I will embrace my art, my creativity, my words.

I will trust in my knowledge, my expertise and experience, my value I bring to the world.

I will value my labor.

I will be a loving friend.

I will strengthen my relationship with B to build a foundation for the rest of our lives together.

I will spend time with my inner child and heal my parent wounds.

I will love deeply and unconditionally.

I will foster deep friendships with mutual celebration, respect, and support.

I will listen to the knowing voice inside me and trust myself.

I will bring joy and healing to the world.

I will manifest abundance financially.

I will share my art.

I will love myself and others.

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All told, I did pretty well at all those things. We still don’t have a dog, but we’re waiting out the absolute sass of our two newly-blended-family cats before adding another species to the mix. It’s really bumming me out though, and I’m going to start lobbying hard for a dog in January.

This year had some incredible highs and terrible lows. I lost my cat in January and still feel the loss as if it was fresh sometimes. I miss her terribly. Our relationship was so special and deep and meaningful. She moved with me eight times in our eleven years together. She saw me through two divorces, the cutting off of my parents, and several heartbreaks. And I absolutely, completely believe that she did not pass until she thought I was safe and able to be on my own without her.

I am in the most unconditionally loving relationship of my life, after a childhood of emotional trauma and a deeply abusive marriage. And the best part is that I don’t doubt it or worry that he will one day realize I am broken or damaged — I believe that I deserve a truly loving and respectful relationship with someone who adores me and whom I adore.

I bought a HOUSE, y’all. Well, my partner’s roommate bought the house, but four of us together contributed to the purchase and live together in an intentional household. And it WORKS. (For us).

This one is so big: I had an entirely self employed year and made $40,000.

My goal was $50k, but honestly, $40k in self employment is incredible. I DID THAT. With very minimal burnout, without hustling, being able to make money doing work I care about, working with clients who I get and who get me, as a disabled, autistic person with ADHD who does not vibe with the traditional workday.

This year has been my first year completely self employed. Last year I quit my job in June, left at the end of July, and my last paycheck and vacation payout got me through August and September, when I started freelancing for a nonprofit. This year has been all me. I did work for the nonprofit again, and probably will next year too because I love the work, the kids, the mission of it all. It’s an inspiring job, and I feel extremely good about the work I do for them. But on top of that freelance, I’ve had 1:1 clients all year long, I launched my podcast and the Passion Pacers membership (and people like it, they really like it), I’m nearly to production on an Oracle Deck, and I wrote a proposal for my second book (and started work on a novel series). It’s been a creative year!

I won’t tell you “everyone can do this too if they work hard!” because that’s bullshit. It took a lot of privilege to get here. I had savings to quit my job and for the irregular income that comes with the first years of self employment, I don’t have kids, and splitting the bills four ways is super affordable.

Further honestly, not everyone even WANTS to be self employed.

What I will tell you is that I believe in you and I love you and I am so grateful for you. All of you. Whether you read my blog, listen to my podcast, work with me, or just smile in passing when you see my name on your Facebook feed or your inbox.

In March 2018 I left an abuser, lost my stepdad, and got a book deal all in the same week.

Closing out 2021, I look back and cannot even fathom everything I’ve accomplished since then. It was the opening of not only a new chapter but a whole new series of stories, and for everyone who has come along for the ride, whether you’ve been here since the beginning or we met along the way, thanks for being here.

In 2022, I will absolutely not tempt the fates of this century by saying it’s my year, but I am looking forward to so many new things. A bigger, better Passion Pacers experience helping more people find the creative work that resonates with them, a revamped Run Like Hell Toward Happy podcast, a fully booked 1:1 client schedule, A DOG, and a second book deal.

And now I’m going to go journal with the moon to start getting aligned for 2022! See you soon!

PS. Here are some FREE FREE FREE ways to keep in touch with me:

1. My mailing list. Get a free ebook when you join!
2. My podcast! Run Like Hell Toward Happy is on all platforms. I’m currently on hiatus but there are three amazing seasons to catch up on. Back in January!
3. My Facebook group.
4. Instagram